Reflections

A gentle and quiet spirit is how I would express my daughter's character qualities.  She is a true friend, dependable, service oriented, and absolutely loving.  If God allowed me to make a wish list of all the characteristics in a human being, she would exceed all of them.  Blessed with intelligence, beauty, and an exceptional athletic ability, she doesn't elevate herself.  She considers others better and picks people up when they are down with her gift of encouragement.  She is not boastful in her demeanor.  She seeks to honor and please God.  Recently, she was awarded a gift of honor from her Lacrosse coach as being the most valuable player.  She was honored with words that will soon not be forgotten.  She was told she was the heartbeat of Westminster and everything Westminster represents.  Truly outstanding!  Every time I look at her, I realize God's abundant grace and couldn't be more proud as a parent for the great things he hath done in her and through her.  So often, I have felt like a failure as a parent or have felt like I am not doing enough to equip my kids for their future.  It takes a village to raise a kid, and I am thankful for all the people that helped her along the way that have made an impact and difference in her life.  My greatest wish is for my kids to make a difference in the lives of others, and it is clear she certainly on the right track.  My reflections for today are blessed beyond measure.

Happy 16th Birthday!

Since the day I found out I was pregnant with you, I tried to imagine what life would be like with a baby, toddler, preschooler, elementary schooler, middle schooler, and high schooler.  Never in my wildest dreams could I have known what the next 16 years were about to bring.  

We have enjoyed adventures beyond imagination.  From the time you were a few months old, we would explore everything St. Louis had to offer.  Then, we broadened our horizons and traveled to New York, Arizona, Florida, Michigan, Texas, California, and many more states to explore and enjoy God’s creation.  You have grown up in a sports fanatic family.  You have been to spring training games, professional baseball games, football games, basketball games, and hockey games.  I have witnessed you succeed in every sport you have tried to play.  You have grown up with an amazing athletic ability.

God has allowed you to experience some challenges along the way that allowed me to see your unfailing perseverance and character that would have never been revealed without them.  I will never forget your determination to learn about the U.S. transcontinental in the hospital as you were regergitating barium after your multiple x-rays.  You have lived through a horrific sickness, many broken bones, more than a few concussions all with a better than average attitude. You have been challenged academically in a few areas and have proven to remain on the honor roll despite the setbacks, all on your own merit.  You have an amazing spatial ability and can practically navigate any city.  You know stats and can commentate any sport.  You are a hard working student with a great work ethic and give 110% of yourself in every aspect of your life.  

You have had an amazing privilege most kids in the U.S. will never have - growing up with your cousins and grandmother living next door.  You have also enjoyed extended family on both sides caring about you, celebrating you, and watching your many activities over the years.  You have grown up in a loving home with two parents and a sister who admires and looks up to you.  

You have been the recipient of a church family that has prayed over you many, many times over the last several years.  These are people in the community who genuinely care for you. You have inherited an independent spirit, so I hope you know the gifts that have been bestowed on you.  I pray you will not boast in accomplishments, but use them to benefit others, especially those who are less fortunate.  My wish is for you to love the Lord with all of your heart, soul and mind and to seek his wisdom in all things.  Secondly, my wish for you is to love others as you love yourself.  Treat others as you wish to be treated.  To love boldly and forgive quickly, as Christ has forgiven you is the ultimate calling.  We have failed you many times, but hope you will remember the great sacrifices we have made on your behalf and remember all the family celebrations, love and family time we have enjoyed together.  You have filled my days with pleasure, pain, worry, joy, pride, anger and impatience.  Thank you for bringing out the best and worst in me and for keeping me humbled and on my knees.

You are a natural born leader with a strong will and a strong sense of what you want. My hope for you is to use your talents wisely.  Treat others with respect, care and kindness all the days of your life.  Never take anything for granted.  Everything in your life is a precious gift that can be taken at any moment.

You are a hardworking, rule-following, ethical young man.  You seek fairness and justice and are a protective spirit by nature.  You are a loyal, true, and honest in your dealings.  

I pray your 16th year will bring new friendships, laughter, joy and continued fellowship with God.  I pray you will make moral decisions based on principles, not feelings.  I pray you will respect, honor and cherish all those that cross your path in the years to come.  You are a unique and special gift from God.  I pray the next few years should prove to be the best in making the passage into adulthood before plunging into the challenges and responsibilities you will face in the future.  Remember, to always give it your best and at least try to take risks, no matter how big the projects may seem.  Pain of failing passes quicker than the regret of never trying.

I hope you know how much I love you and how thankful I am that God allowed me to earnestly enjoy the last 16 years with you.  You are a true delight with a great sense of humor (when you are not being too serious!)  You have a sensitive and loving spirit, and I hope you will remember how abundantly loved and cherished you are in my eyes and in God’s kingdom.

Love,

Mom

Betrayal

If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend. - Psalm 55:12-13

Betrayal is nothing new.  In most cases, our deepest pains and heartaches come from those closest to us and often times from other believers.  I have discovered that my expectations are higher for those in the church.  As the expectations are higher, so are the disappointments.  Lowering expectations and assuming the worst does sound extreme, but surprisingly yields the most happiness.  Expecting others to fail us can be a source of great comfort when dealing with difficult people or circumstances.  Leadership takes guts and along with leadership comes hardship, hurts, and discouragement, but if you are focused on serving and pleasing the only one that matters, true joy can result.  If you are going to focus on things you can't control (other people or what they say behind your back) you are inviting pain and suffering.  In the end, the only thing that really matters is what God thinks, not others.  Betrayals are difficult, however, Jesus was betrayed and so were Joseph and David.  The people closest to them were the ones that turned their backs on them. Modeling their reactions to horrible situations can take your spirituality to a whole new level.  None of us are perfect.  If we are able to move to a place of forgiveness in our hearts despite what others say or do, it is a freedom that transcends all understanding but a great source of comfort during trials.  The vindicator will come to judge the quick and the dead and eventually make all things right.

Competition within the Church/Walls of Division

These thoughts and post are from Prime Time with God.  I have felt compelled to write about unity for many months, but these few thoughts sum up why unity cannot be obtained within the church when competition and walls of division are present.

The walls of division and competition among his body are a stench in God's nostrils.  He sees the competition and pride of ownership and weeps for the lost who cannot come to him because they cannot see him in his body.  When his body is one, the unbelieving see that Jesus was sent by God.  The key is in the hand of the church.  When there is unity, there is power.  Scripture tells us 5 will chase 100 but 100 will chase 10,000 (see Lev. 26:8.)  We are 100 times more effective when we are in unity.  Jesus prayed that we might be one, as the Father and he are one.  When this love is in us, we are drawn to each other with a common mission. The walls fall down.  The independent spirit is broken.  Competition is destroyed.  Satan's accusations are thwarted.  Our love for one another is manifested to the world around us.  Lost souls seek the love!

Well, that about sums it up if we would just be obedient and stop comparing ourselves.

Misunderstood

There are few things more frustrating than being misunderstood.  Communication is key, but what do you do when details in speech are not part of your genetic makeup or you don't fully complete thoughts and sentences to perfect accuracy.  Even the best communicators are sure to fall short of a never ending load of information.  Juggling multiple tasks can get complicated and overwhelming.  Every person is beating to their own drum in dealing with  issues, idols, and problems which makes communicating to others even more difficult.  Some people are sensitive and others can roll anything off their shoulders without thinking twice.  We all have fears, certain insecurities, and doubts about ourselves and others.  What happens when you are not clear when trying finish a thought or express a feeling or situation?  Immediately, assumptions play in on the other person's end making conversation confusing.  Subconsciousness becomes active and guards are in full operation.  Sometimes, I wish there was a heart monitoring device that spoke evidence of authenticity.  The worse feeling in the world is being misunderstood.  Even the best intentions are typically shot down by other's collected and evaluated opinions.  I wish more people with give the benefit of the doubt to other's motives without being judgmental. I often think of that word in an interesting way...judge=mental - because when we judge others or have paranoid feelings, it can drive us mental.  Often times, we take matters into our own hands and try to make decisions based on false accusations, hear say or misunderstandings.  This is so painful and wrong.  Relationships take time and effort and a willingness to sit down and discuss matters one on one to clear the air.  Sadly, most people have already made their decisions about others instead of making a real attempt to have authentic relationships.  I feel like a pretty deep person and dear friend to others, but often times am clearly misunderstood.  This may be one of the most painful experiences to endure when trying to build meaningful relationships.  Most of us have that deep longing to be known and be accepted but very few are willing to get vulnerable and expose it all.  Without risks there are no returns.  The only way to build a foundation of trustworthy relationships is to continually put yourself out there boldly for others to accept or reject.  Being misunderstood is hard, but I have found the best way to personal growth and happiness with others is to be a risk taker and communicate likes, dislikes, fears, and frustrations.  We take the chance of being hurt, but we also take a chance of being known and being loved.  However, we can be assured, the true friends will shine through and the others will be pruned out.  It is a blessing to learn true friendships.  When you reveal weaknesses, and others go for the juggler, you know you can move on and not waste any more time trying to build a foundation.  In a way, the pain is actually an avenue to for growth and development of character to rise above the ones who are not authentic and cling to the people who treat you right!

Worth

Where do you find your worth? Worldly pleasures only go so far and then what? Most people can admit to some degree where they put their worth. Some of us find our worth in education or our intelligence or we may think our worth is attached to what kind of car we drive or what kind of house we own. It could be a particular job or even our friendships. The Bible is clear where are worth is found but many people simply refuse to believe the truth. People wandering around looking for happiness in all the wrong places, trying to fill their love tanks with hopeless things that never deliver on their promises. We fill ourselves with pride over our accomplishments but forget how those accomplishments were attained in the first place. Time is fleeting, and I want to leave a legacy for my children by letting them know their true value and worth rests in Christ alone. We are called to be living sacrifices for our King. How does this translate? It means giving all you have back to the one who gives it in the first place. He owns it anyway. The only way for them to catch this idea is by living it out for them to see. Leading by example is the best opportunity I can give them to live for the one who died for them. Hopefully, someday they will know the sacrifices that were made were for a heavenly Father that gave it all so I could live. This is where I find my worth!

Reminder Not to Cling to Anything in This World

We all remember hearing about the Joplin tornado and the destruction it caused for so many families. I cannot comprehend the damage or trauma so many suffered, however, Paul and I were able to attend a shower given by a friend to support her brother and sister-in-law who literally lost everything they owned including their house AND business. Fortunately, their children and family survived. To hear their story runs shivers down my spine and quickly reminds me how easily life as we know it can change in a heartbeat. It is a reminder to hold loosely to all blessings, gifts and talents that have been entrusted to me. This includes health, intelligence, athletic ability, friends, family and belongings. Ultimately, it is only by God's grace that any of these things exist. God has crafted a plan for all of our lives, but we are not "entitled" to anything. Any or all of it can be taken in a flash. I am thankful to realize my hope for a future does not end here on earth and am looking forward to one day without tears, pain, and suffering and to living in glory with God. I am reminded of scripture in Matthew 6:19 regarding treasures in Heaven "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. I am also reminded of Matthew 6:25-27 "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

I am thankful for another day with family and friends and the ability to worship with a church family filled with amazing leaders who continue to share the good news of the gospel!